January 2012
6 posts
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One of my buddys is what you would call obese, I mean she probably doesn’t even weight that much, but it ‘s alot for her height and all she does is shovel food in her face, she taks about diets and healthy food choices one second and the next she’s making me drive her to Mcdonalds to get a Mcflurry. All my other friends make jokes about she’s a ‘fatty’ I wonder...
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People who don’t have their stats displayed in an easy to view area, fuck you. I just really want to compare myself to you.
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It’s so annoying having one of those ‘we all sit at the table and eat together’ families, like please, just let me starve, I don’t want your food or to have to sit in that vicinity of your faces as you shovel food in them. Nauseating.
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Today had been really tough, I caved and ate one pringle and mentally it feels like I’ve consumed the whole tube, usually if I was feeling low I would think “Hey, I’ve already failed by having one may as well eat the whole tube because I’m a fat failure and that’s what fat failures do, we eat”. No, I’m attempting to be strong, I will go to the gym today...
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November 2011
40 posts
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I’ve been watching Supersize vs. Superskinny whenever I take a bite of food I think about one of the super sized people.
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My birthday is in two days, I’m afraid I’m going to be alone and fat. I don’t really have any good friends, I have people that tell me that they’re my friends only when I’m complaining about having no friends. I will not allow anybody to get close to me, and more or less I assume that people wouldn’t want to be close to me, because I’m so repulsive. I...
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being hungry hurts, wearing my corsets 23 hours a...
but not doing any of this hurts even more…
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I don't hate anyone in the world as much as I hate...
I need to be skinny before I get out of this...
This sounds bratty but I’m sick of having people to do everything for me, especially prepare my meals, it seems so wasteful for people to put in effort for me it just going in the bin or down the toilet bowl.
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I’ve lost 20lbs so why do I see no difference? Oh yeah, because I’m still not skinny enough.
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Just chew and spat a twister from KFC, now I’m trying to purge what ever minuscule of chicken went down my throat, watch my life and tell me this is glamorous.
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I wonder which people would care enough to stop...
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chew and spit makes me feel better than purgin'
at least then I know I have the self control to spit it out.
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I am so fat, I don't understand how people can...
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What people don’t realise, that the reason we have pet names like ‘ana’ and ‘mia’ is because you can’t just ‘stop’. It’s not ‘just a phase’. It’s a mental illness. And try as you might to get away from it, theres always that little part of your brain that wants to stay. It’s my safety blanket. It’s what I rely on....
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blueberries are like my mother Theresa.
I solemnly swear to never go back to my starting...
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shachh-deactivated20111224 asked: don't get me wrong♥ I have respect for your opinions & think it is good what you do, as long as you think it is good for you. When i read your blog i get a little sad because you want to lose so much weight, but at the same time I understands that this is something you really want to. I love that you are your self and don't care what other say. what feelings do you get when...
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I just spent an hour in the supermarket checking...
It was actually fun, omg what is wrong with my head.
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roast chicken flavoured rice cakes are my friends, I can have like 4 and still not exceed 100cal.
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I haven’t eaten anything today, so why do I feel like throwing up. Oh yeah, because my body makes me wanna vomit, that’s why.
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withlvjulie asked: thankyou so much for following me! it means such a super duper lot... I think your blog is so amazing and inspiring :)
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Fat people don't have eating disorders.
It’s called B.E.D, binge eating disorder. it’s a real thing, look it up.
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My self esteem is at my lowest when I’m purging, because I know that I wouldn’t be leaning over a toilet bowl unless I had lost control.
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I wonder what it feels like to not check your...
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My reward for getting to my GW will be a tattoo.
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Intake today
So far 1 Banana = 72 cal.
3 litres of water = 0 cal
1 can pepsi max = 1 cal Later on will probably have a SMALL PORTION (have to keep that work in my head) of stir fry veggies with chinese barbecue sauce which I intend on purging.
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This is going to sound horrible
but one of my good friends is my reverse thinspo. It’s not that she’s disgusting, it’s just that I look at her, she’s like a hundred kilos I think that’s roughly 215 lbs and she wears mini skirts and high waisted shorts, everything sticks out. I just can’t help but look at her and see everything I don’t wanna be.
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Intake today
1/2 of a low fat vanilla yogurt = 50 cal 9 water crackers = 70 cal 2 rice cakes with a french onion spread = 50 cals steak with salad and wedges (purged) 3 cans of pepsi max = 6 cals 176 calories, not counting what I may have not properly purged?
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Everything looks better on a girl with a thigh gap, look at the clothes you’re wearing right now, they would look better if you had a bigger thigh gap.
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I've never been able to wear a bikini, not in my...
I feel like I’m on track for this summer.
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I wonder what it feels like to eat food and not...
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it’s just been binge/purge, binge/purge all day I hate this cycle.
October 2011
57 posts
1 tag
elaineisamazing93 asked: and where do you buy them? all ive been able to find is online things (ive been trying to find some for a while). id rather buy from a store if possible lol :P
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One of my corsets no longer fits me, this is great although now I have to buy a new one. I finally feel on track.
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elaineisamazing93 asked: what kind of appetite suppressants do you take?